Shop
Support Your Practice with Sacred Items
Why a Shop? 🛍️
There’s a real tension here. I want community around this work, but workshops, retreats, video series, and guided meditation apps create personal relationships, financial dependencies, and social pressure to conform—exactly the dynamics written guidance is designed to avoid. 🛡️
So no workshops. No “advanced practitioner” tiers. No mailing list. No social media.1
But the desire for connection doesn’t disappear. This shop is our attempt to honor that impulse ethically: you get a water bottle, we get to keep the lights on, nobody owes anybody anything. ✨
Welcome to the Unburdened Shop (USA only)
Explore our carefully curated collection of items to support your Open Inquiry practice and IFS journey. ✨
🎟️ Cipher Lottery Ticket
Each chapter of Unburdened begins with an epigraph hidden in simple substitution ciphers. 🔐 Purchase a lottery ticket for a chance to win the keys to all the ciphers! 🗝️ Winner selected weekly! You are likely to win! 📅
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📓 Official Way of Open Inquiry Journal
Notebook featuring the Sacred Question Mark symbol (?) on the cover. Perfect for your inquiry practice, parts dialogues, or daily reflections. 📝
High-quality paper, durable binding, 140 dotted pages. ✍️
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💧 17oz Ceremonial Water Bottle
Stay hydrated during your practice with this premium insulated water bottle. 💧 Featuring subtle Open Inquiry branding for mindful fluid integration. 🧘
17oz bowling-pin shape. Keeps drinks cold or hot for 6 hours. 🔥❄️
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💧 32oz Ceremonial Water Bottle
The full ceremony experience. 💧 Wide-mouth foldable straw, rotating handle, perfect for long retreats and active lifestyles. 🧘
32oz. Keeps drinks cold for 24 hours ❄️ or hot for 12 hours. 🔥
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📜 Lifetime Membership Certificate
Beautiful certificate suitable for framing and wall display.2 🖼️ Demonstrates your commitment to the Way of Open Inquiry. ✨
Printed on archival-quality paper. ✨
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✨ Personal Spirit Guide Matching Service
Receive a one-hour consultation where I’ll channel your perfect spirit guide. 🔮 Sessions conducted via video call. 💻
Includes recorded session 🎥 and personalized guide profile document. 📋✨
$500.00
🚗 Conviction Minimization Car Magnet
Show your commitment to conviction minimization with this premium car magnet.
“Believe less, disbelieve less — Way of Open Inquiry” 💭
Weather-resistant, perfect for cars, fridges, or filing cabinets. 🚙🧲
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Shipping & Returns
- Processing Time: Most orders ship within 2-3 business days. 📦⏰
- Returns: All sales are final.
Bulk Orders
Interested in ordering journals, water bottles, or magnets in bulk for your community or practice group? 👥 Contact us for special pricing. 💰
Disclaimer
All profits support the author’s ongoing daemon possession management expenses, 👻 including emergency Tarot consultations 🔮 with a specialist in Portland who charges $300/hour. Plus, you’re bringing us one step closer to renting Stonehenge 🗿 for next year’s Way of Open Inquiry Conference (current quote: £63,000 for three days, plus another £8,000 for “historical monument insurance”). 💰 Additional funding goes toward impulsive purchases like limited-edition meditation cushions I’ll use exactly once, 🧘 frivolous gifts for book signing attendees (“everyone gets a singing bowl!” 🔔), and expanding my collection of ceremonial robes, sacred geometry harem pants, and handwoven alpaca ponchos. 🦙✨
Notes
I am, of course, completely fine with this. Totally fine. Absolutely not refreshing other teachers’ retreat sign-up pages at 2am, watching them fill up in minutes, telling myself I could do that too if I just wanted to sell out a little. Nope. Not me. I have principles. ↩︎
One certificate covers one wall. If you maintain a home altar, an office cubicle, and a van, you’ll need three—this is just physics, not a sales tactic. 🖼️🖼️🖼️ Also: Membership carries forward. Each additional copy immunizes one more future lifetime against the seductive nonsense of charismatic teachers who lack actual insight. That future you will already have a certificate, so there’s no need to go join their thing. Consider it the opposite of consecutive life sentences: Instead of stacking punishment across incarnations, you’re stacking grace. ↩︎